Crying Silent Tears

That's what I did, cried silently, as I rode on the bus to work each day in 1998. I was a new teacher back then, full of enthusiasm for my new position as kindergarten teacher. I loved it, but there was a dark side to it all; I had to mask my deepest feelings as I worked to remember all that happened to me as a child.

I lost my job due to these feelings, something that will always be a deep regret for me. All that didn't stop me though. I continued in therapy and decided to write. As part of my personal therapy I chose to write about my childhood sexual abuse and Crying Silent Tears Grieving and Healing the Betrayal of Childhood Sexual Abuse was born out of my despair and anger. It was a tough write, but I kept at it until it was finished to my satisfaction.

It's a self-help book and it helped me. When I first began to recall sexual abuse, I wanted to know why men (mostly men) would do such despicable things to innocent children. I read and read and read all about the topic until I began to form a picture of what motivates sexual predators. I call them "perpetraitors" because that's what they really are, people who are traitors to all that honours sweet childhood.

The book is a compendium of facts about child molesters - who they are, why they do what they do, how it affects children and a section on choosing things that help along the healing process. It is not a book for the faint of heart but it provides a template for which one might place their own experiences. That can be very healing. I hope it is. There are so many of us and we need the support this book can bring.